My ratings come at the end of each review under the title “the Bottom Line” and are usually colored blue – so that they stand out from the rest of the text, for al those lazy bastards disinterested in reading my reviews and wanting to just get to good stuff.

I currently use a 1 – to – 5 Star rating (which I’ll probably change someday soon) –> there are no actual “Stars” pictured however, which upon reflection is kinda stupid…

…whatever, here’s the guide:

1 Star – AVOID AT ALL COSTS

The perfect storm of artistic wretchedness. Horrible in every way, from script and direction to cinematography and on-screen performances. A production so boring or revolting that it’s nearly impossible to watch to the end, so don’t even bother

2 Stars – NOT RECOMMENDED

Not even the most devoted genre fans would argue: This is a bad piece of work. The production isn’t fun, even for a second, although it might be interesting to some people for one reason or another.

3 Stars – FAIR-TO-MIDDL’N

Average. Your run-of-the-mill entertainment experience. Genre devotees would give this a 4 or maybe a 5 on a good day, but even they would have to acknowledge that undeniable flaws keep it from standing out from the crowd. A couple of good scenes or genuine laughs barely make up for the overall mediocrity of the production.

4 Stars – RECOMMENDED

An amazing show; its only flaw is that it isn’t a groundbreaking work of genius. We’ve seen movies or shows just like it before, but this is too entertaining to get anything lower. Recommended even to people who aren’t fans of the genre.

5 Stars – HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My highest rating. I might be able to point out a couple of niggling flaws, but the experience is so good overall that it just doesn’t matter. More than a few works will get this rating since I’ve got a big appetite for online videos. If you’re looking for reviews where the top position is reserved for truly brilliant, groundbreaking works, go away.